How my mother skills are lacking....

Ok probably should not advertise this but when they were handing out mothering manuals, I think mine got lost in the mail. Here are a few examples:

• This morning I was left in charge of feeding Parker breakfast. After a long debate about which breakfast would be the least amount of work for me, we decided on ceral. Well all the spoons were dirty so I made him eat his ceral with a measuring cup.
• I asked Parker if he felt like I was paying too much attention to the puppy. He said no, so I said "well get out of here then so I can hug the puppy".
• Parker recommended that I take the birth control pills advertised on TV so you only have PMS 4 times a year. This is bad for 2 reasons: 1. I am so grumpy that he is trying to limit my PMS to a quarterly event. 2. How much TV is this kid watching that he can tell me the name of the pill, how it works and what the side effects are!?
• He is terribly freaked out by the Christmas "Elf on the Shelf", so I found one and started putting in different locations throughout the house. Like next to his toothbrush, facing his bedroom door, in the refrigerator. Everyday he would find it and make me promise not to do it the next day and tell me how UNfunny I am, but I did it anyway. Jeff finally hid it from me so I would stop traumatizing the kid!
  

The most important thing is that this kid is the World to me! I hope this post will be taken as light hearted and that no one reports me to CPS! Thanks again to my wonderful husband, without which we would be wearing potato sacks and living under a bridge.